Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
