Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
