This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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