Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
