if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
