Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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