I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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