i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
