She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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