I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
