birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
