And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
