im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
