wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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