Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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