Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
