the day after is always just damage control
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
