Hey man sorry I got all grabby
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
