He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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