But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
