I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
