when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
