i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
