you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
