My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
