I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
