It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
