I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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