I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
zippers are such a cool invention
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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