her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
