I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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