I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
