I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
