You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
