I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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