I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
