This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
