I seem to have left my pride at pride
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
