What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
