this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
