you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
where are you?
Hypothermia
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize