I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
