So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
