You're so nebulous sometimes
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
