Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
