hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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