S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I love you. Go after that dick
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
