I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
