babies were throwing up all over the place
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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