It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We have started to decorate penises.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
