I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
