i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
