What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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