I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
