we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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