She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
