I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I supernannyed him into submission
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
