I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
