Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
