good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
