Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
