Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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