Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
