in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
