It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
